A Note From Your Two Professional Ice Skating Peers


Courtesy of the MBHS Parent Association

Millennium students skate the night away at the LeFrak Center in Prospect Park.

Ellora Onion-De and Agatha Ryan

Open scene. It’s Friday, February 11th. A day no one could forget. At least–no one in attendance at Millennium Brooklyn’s ice skating event, one of the first school-wide gatherings in over two years. Enter your narrators, Ellora and Agatha. 

We are two typical but sprightly 16 year old ladies. Agatha, a Millennium Brooklyn junior and competitive swimmer with curly locks, is often mistaken for her Precalculus teacher Ms. Preissel. Ellora might be familiar to you as the junior gripping her tower of textbooks as fellow students shove past in the hallway, unaware of the toppling they might inflict. With her self-esteem battered by her daily trials in school corridor navigation, Ellora was not sure if she should even attempt entering the rink. And Agatha, recovering from back issues related to her carrying a far-too-heavy tote bag, was not sure she could handle the ice’s brutal impact. 

Despite their trepidation, Ellora and Agatha ventured onto the slippery surface. The duo’s fears melted away as their feet took command and guided their blades swiftly across the smooth, shimmerying ice. Then their routine commenced: Double axel. Salchow. Half flip. Camel spin. Sit Spin. Lutz. Triple axel. Quadruple axel. Quintuple axel. Sextuple axel. The Iron Lotus. Everyone on the rink watched in awe of the two graceful girls, and wondered, “Why haven’t I seen them at the Olympics yet?”

Yeah, we know what you’re probably thinking. Are Ellora and Agatha really professional ice skaters? The truth may be close to no, but please take comfort in knowing that we’re probably the best ice skaters at this school. At least judging from the crowd who attended the ice skating event in Prospect Park on Friday, February 11th.

When any rational person decides to spend a few hours of their evening scrambling around in a circle on thin metal blades, they must give themselves up to the parody of the sport. You might think avoiding being tripped or plowed down by stumbling teenagers clutching at the wall would be the worst of your problems–but far from it. 

Even though your humble narrators find themselves pulling skating tricks out of their back pockets, they will never EVER compare to the eight-year-old phenoms speeding past, future Tara Lipinskis and Johnny Weirs throwing down triple axles and shooting such evil glares that Agatha might as well have stayed home and watched the Sex and the City remake with her mother. Agatha and Ellora might have admonished themselves for not signing up for skating lessons when they were younger so they could show these little punks up. But while pondering such regrets, their thoughts veered into reminisces about ALL the things they could have been if you didn’t spend their childhoods watching Yo Gabba Gabba. (Please ignore the fact that this may specifically be the lingering regret of the author of this article whose name starts with an A–in other words, not Ellora.)

Of course, the rink isn’t only filled with youthful skaters, both the klutzy and the nimble prodigies. Agatha and Ellora also have to, of course, dodge the odd “I played scrimmage ice hockey in college” 40-something-year-old man. Does this burly individual take any notice that the covered rink might as well be a sweaty tin of sardines and he could slam into a small child at any moment? Of course not. Does he realize that his screeching hockey stops scrape the ice to such an extent that Ellora and Agatha can barely perform their medal-worthy ice dancing routine? Of course not. Though Ellora and Agatha can’t help but chuckle at the cluster of teenage boys following blindly in his footsteps only to fall ungraciously on their behinds.

In addition to the riffraff, there were some benevolent skaters too! For example, a jovial older woman complimented Ellora’s progress on her backward crossovers. “It just might have been the happiest, most touching moment of my life,” recalls Ellora. For some inexplicable reason though, the woman did not seem to recognize Agatha’s ice skating excellence. (But let’s not dwell on Agatha’s REJECTION by this otherwise kindly saint).

As for the general tone of the night, it was quite pleasant. That is if you enjoy a haphazard melange of mid-2000s radio pop and you’re willing to run the risk you might get knocked flat on the ice by a screaming toddler. 

All joking aside, February’s Friday night ice-skating social was a heartwarming welcome back into school social life and we (Ellora and Agatha, of course) thoroughly enjoyed seeing teachers, peers, and friends take to the ice. Alexia, a fellow 11th grader, commented that “The fact that we just get to see everybody’s faces is so fun.” Lizbet, also a junior, admits that even though “I can’t skate, it’s so fun!” 

So yes, everyone at the rink had a great time and we can assure you that everyone definitely improved their skating skills by the end of the night. But back to us for a second.

Nah, we’re just playing with you! Ellora and Agatha, out!